Me, office and a cup of tea

Unless you have a handkerchief clad Mallika Sherwat wallpaper on screen, it’s hard to keep your eyes open after a heavy lunch. I would have tried that novel idea today had this been my last day in office. Unfortunately it isn’t. Novel ideas don’t have a place in corporate world anyway, so I am resorting for a regular wake-up maneuver…. A cuppa tea…

As I sip this cup of tea, I have only one plan for the next half an hour that is to do nothing. So I am just looking around throughout the 359 degrees. No I am not a santa singh renowned for his geometry. I removed the one-degree angle towards my boss who reminds me of work. My office isn’t that photogenic a place and my colleagues aren’t walking the ramp at lakme fashion week… This brings me back me back to good old computer screen.

Now, I am looking at the screen but not seeing it, trying to get lost in the air of thoughts, catch hold of one and spend some time with it. So, basically I am thinking of what to think of. At this point I am as tempted to go back home as Ganguly is to go back to the pavilion. Ganguly is lucky for he can surrender to temptations at will. Nevertheless, I have to sit. So why not sit and observe people…

After spending some time observing people one can broadly categorize them into the following categories,

1. THE HUM-HONGE-KAMYAAB ENGINEER:

These types are the ones who would go to Hawaiian islands, sit on the water-front with their better halves with a mug of Caribbean bear and discuss India’s nuclear power situation. These were the ones who used to do all the assignments in college and the rest of the class used to copy. They would always stand second in merit in their schools and colleges, (the topper would typically be a smart lazy bum who crammed all the IMP questions the previous night) Melody here is defined as the sound of servomotor. If you dare ask them what turns them on, the answer would be a cathode ray tube.

2. THE SMART LAZY BUM:

These would typically include people like yours truly, whose only serious attempt on an engineering concept was to calculate the tensile strength of Pamela Anderson’s bikini hooks. These people are great at two skills of management, one is relegating and the other is shunning. Bravery here is to sleep when boss is giving a presentation. Their skill-set includes taking away credit for good job done by THE-HUM-HONGE-KAMYAAB-ENGINEER.

3. THE BLACK HOLE:

I am totally perplexed by these species for they tend to be physically present and mentally absent everywhere. They seem like a toxic celestial dump of energy and the air of drowsiness around them is infectious. They can live for 47 days without making a sound and can stay put for 34 days without moving from their chair.

4. THE BEAUTY MINUS THE BRAINS:

These self obsessed females are living in notion that everybody in the office is staring at them. They tend to check their appearance every 43 seconds and they add to the decoration of the office. MS Word is their idea of a high-end engineering software, formatting becomes a high-tension, pressure-cooker job and Piping diagrams here are cute. They are brilliant at talking provided they are not talking engineering.

5. THE ONCE-UPON-A-TIME TYPES:

These are in the 50+ something bracket. They would call an emergency meeting and talk for an hour about how their son got into IIM (it would actually be IMI or MII or something else which they suitably rephrased) They would boast big-time of there been-there-done-that incidents on the name of experience sharing. Retirement is impending, almost arrived and if it doesn’t come soon enough there would some others who would gladly take VRS to avoid the pain in ears.

Did you hear that…? A ONCE-UPON-A-TIME type just called THE SMART LAZY BUM. Well, if you are confused then I will give you a hint - My boss called me. There are some other species remaining to be described but I better hear out my boss till he is 58 or else…

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Disclaimer: Nothing personal, just fun.
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